My Love-Hate Relationship with Routines

When I first became a parent, the desire to sleep was so strong. I remember calling the local nurse helpline in the first month. She recommended that I co-sleep with my son so I could get more rest. Thankfully, I had been to a pre-birth class about how to do it properly. I was comfortable trying it. co-sleeping worked for me. I was not as drained between feedings.

Here’s the thing: I didn’t realize I was opting into attachment parenting. This would begin the long journey of trying to get the right routine for our family while listening to everyone’s individual needs. 

Finding a routine isn’t always easy when you have to consider other people in the mix. A baby grows and constantly changes the dynamics of the family and its routines. 

I found the flexibility I required as a parent and entrepreneur by working from home a couple of days a week. Sometimes I would bring my son to work when he was not well enough for daycare but okay enough for me to work. 

Now, several years later during the pandemic, I support my son while he learns and plays virtually. The routines these days have different challenges. I am finding creative ways to have different experiences while we are all together in the same place. 

It took many conversations and experiments over the past year to adapt, pivot, and discover what we can control and count on. 

What works for me may not work for you. I’m not going to summarize all the things I do. What I am sharing are three questions for you to ponder to discover ideal routines with your family. 

In our home, we ask each other these three questions every time we get anxious or frustrated:

1. How would having more time help you?
2. How could a family member help you with this?
3. How can we enjoy time together as a family?

Whatever routine your family creates, everyone shows patience and kindness with each other. It could take up to twelve weeks for you and your family to find your groove. When you settle on routines, be flexible. Compromise. There are enough hours in the day for yourself and the family.